Belachan is a popular ingredient in Asia, made from fermented ground shrimp, sun dried and then cut into fist-sized rectangular blocks.

Belachan smell and taste is strong. It smells great when it’s fresh, and yummy when cooked with water convulvulus aka kangkung (below).

Photo from malaysatayhut.com.

I cooked the belachan for lunch and thoroughly enjoyed my meal. For the rest of the afternoon, it was so cold, I did not open my balcony door or windows and relied solely on my gas hood to suck up the strong smell. Later on in the evening, I went for pole class. Grabbed my very thick MNG jacket and a thick scarf (from downstairs) over the rest of my clothes from upstairs and immediately walked to the tram stop.

As I stepped into the tram, I noticed, the belachan smell was pretty strong but I guess my nose was close to the scarf on my neck, so I could be the only one smelling it. I had no idea that being out of my belachan-immersed territory at home, it would smell really pungent! When I was at home the whole day, I felt comfortable with the smell and didn’t think much about it only till I stepped out of this belachan-zone!

Then, I overheard a couple from Hong Kong speaking to each other in Cantonese about some kind of smell they cannot figure out. I really don’t blame them. They were trying hard to smell to decipher what kind of dead rat or kangkung leftovers the smell really was. They weren’t rude about it, they were just talking (and the guy was covering his nose lolz!).

I turned to them and told them the smell is probably from me, that I just couldn’t get rid off after cooking earlier. They apologised and said they had no idea. I really don’t blame them, seriously, I’d probably question too and I would probably say it out aloud in English (lolz!) to Josiah if we smelled anything funky like this!

Trying hard to get rid of the smell as I got off the tram, I kept waving my jacket, and was all of a sudden able to resist the strong winds and feeling cold. I just had to get rid of the smell before I allow my pole-mates to suffer the horrible smell. I kept my clothes at the last seat behind the class, and stood at a pole behind hoping the fans would blow away my smell. That really did help a little.

When I finished class, I wore my jacket outside the class to avoid waving some belachan air over. Then, I hurriedly walked towards the tram and thought to myself, “Wait a minute, if I were to walk…nobody would smell me. Or, let’s hope the tram’s pretty empty!” I guess I was a little tired after class and decided to take the tram anyway. Stood far away from everyone else, and avoided eye contact with anyone. It was awkward.

When I got home, I almost fainted as I entered the house, because the smell was so bad! I quickly allowed myself to freeze by having the balcony doors open, gas hood switched on for ten minutes before washing the filters and putting my clothes into laundry. In fact, I removed my jacket at the grocers/laundrette downstairs so I could wear it again in a few days time.

It took 48 hours to have the entire house properly rid off the belachan smell still with some smell lingering on. I’ve done what I should now, the smell better go away quickly. I could not wait to throw the entire remaining block of belachan. I swear never ever to use belachan unless processed and bottled.

The same night after pole class, I went out and was still conscious, I had used up maybe a quarter of my perfume bottle spraying onto myself.

Have you been in such an awkward situation before? On the tram, if people covered their noses and wonder if the smell is coming from you, would you own up or just quickly run, hide and avoid? What about those moments when you smell like FOOD coming out from a restaurant?

Seriously, not proud of this at all. I have exactly one week to get rid of the smell totally before the king returns.

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